Time for a quick update...
Through the past 10 days or so, I've remarked several times that the tide had turned in my thinking. This has been true every time I've said it, but I keep bringing it back up because at each turn, I feel like it's grown MORE true.
Momentum is a crazy thing. Now that I have some, I almost can't remember why I couldn't get myself in hand long ago. It wasn't for lack of desire, that's for sure! I've made several attempts to change my eating habits over the past several years, since my last successful attempt on the Jenny Craig plan back in approximately 2003. Back in 2003, after having an on-again, off-again relationship with JC until finally petering out, I weighed somewhere in the 160s. This isn't my "perfectly slim" weight (that'd be 150), but it was a decent weight for me. We took a cruise, and in the videos of me in my swimsuit, I don't look too bad. I was also comfortable wearing skirts that hit above my knees.
But gradually, the weight crept back on. I can remember a few years ago growing very alarmed when the number on the scale hit the mid-170s. I went on the Atkins plan and stuck to it religiously for a month. I'm telling you, I don't know why, but that plan did NOTHING for me, and I even exercised faithfully throughout, jogging at least two miles almost every day. I think, after one month, I'd lost maybe four pounds, and I just felt weird. I can't explain it, but I was having issues sleeping, and I constantly craved bread and all the other things I couldn't have. I know the Atkins plan has worked for many people - my husband lost 35 pounds on it and felt great - but for my body chemistry, it did nothing.
Over the past three years or so, after that Atkins attempt, I've watched with alarm as my weight crept higher and higher. Periodically, I'd be overcome with disgust over how I had "outgrown" various clothing items, like my favorite slim-fitting capris from three summers ago. (I noticed, to my horror, that the side zipper kept coming unzipped, and that I couldn't seem to pull them all the way up, as they were getting stuck on my fat thighs!) Or, I'd go to a meeting at my kids' school and be envious of the slim, stylish moms and also intimidated by them.
So I'd get motivated and try to do something about my weight, but it seemed like always, after one or two days of thinking about it, I'd hit a wall and cave in to Crazed Addict Fatgirl. Or, I could never quite get all the componants together for successful weight loss. For instance, I'd have no trouble exercising, but then I'd throw it all away and wolf down a huge dinner.
So I've been trying to figure out why this time has been different. Why have I been able to gain momentum?
Part of it, I honestly think, has to do with this blog. Although I don't get more than 25 or 30 hits per day, there's that knowledge that a couple dozen anonymous strangers have been reading my words. Especially during the first day or two, I thought of how foolish I'd feel to have to delete the blog and admit that I couldn't keep to what I'd promised myself. Plus, seeing the words in black and white - seeing a stark record of what I was admitting that I wanted, which was to slim down and be fit again and be able to wear nice clothes again and feel like a "normal-sized" person again - was sobering. Crazed Addict Fatgirl somehow could not quite overcome the existence of this website. Even when she yelled loudly at me that it didn't matter and I could just cave and eat what I wanted, I had to admit to her that I'd published my desires in a way where all the world could see.
And then...well, then, there's just momentum. After the first few days, I felt a lot better, and I could tell that I'd lost a little. This motivated me to stick with it. When I'd gotten through a week, I realized that it simply was not that hard. I could do it. And now, it's been two weeks. I've lost 6.5 pounds, and I'm not going to quit. I'm getting into that mindset where I do not want to cheat. I want to choose healthy foods and get my fruits and vegetables in. Actually, when I eat all my fruits and veggies, I'm honestly not that hungry for anything else, as evidenced by the party yesterday. I'd had a big plate of cauliflower and carrots before we left, and I was able to just nibble a couple of crackers instead of going crazy over stuffed mushrooms, artichoke dip, and all the other really fattening, tempting things they served as appetizers.
Finally, if I could give one word of advice to someone pondering making yet another commitment and wondering if you can stick with it - MAKE A PLAN. And commit to sticking to it for at least a few days. This is the magic of plans like Jenny Craig. The menus are all pre-printed, the food's in your freezer and pantry, and it just gives you this sense of security that all the decisions have been removed for you, at least at the beginning. I did this for the first several days of this dieting attempt, and wow, it was incredibly helpful. I had several Lean Cuisine entrees in the freezer, and I had my fruits and veggies and lunch items, and I knew what I was going to have when.
I'd also say, plan three meals and two snacks. Eat at least two different fruits and two different veggies each day (make one veggie a high vitamin A veggie, like carrots or broccoli). Get your calcium, through nonfat milk and nonfat low-sugar yogurt. Yogurt, actually, is another thing that I think does something to your digestive system which takes away your appetite. At least, it works for me.
Choose foods high in fiber, too. Those dried soups from Safeway's "Eating Right" brand are amazing. They contain something like 12 grams of fiber per serving. After a cup of the black bean soup, at 180 calories, 12 grams of protein, and 12 grams of fiber, I seriously won't be hungry till dinner.
Those are some tricks that I've learned. Make a commitment, make a plan, and make yourself accountable to someone.
If you're reading this, thank you! Because you're MY "someone" today.
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